Dennis in Portsmouth

Dennis in Portsmouth made my day! Denis answered the phone when I rang Scottish Hydro Electric asking for a rebate of the £266.18 credit on my last 6 monthly bill. He said it was nice to be giving something back for a change, especially in this climate. Denis wasn’t looking forward to work yesterday as Hydro had just announced increases in prices for the coming winter months. I said I’d worked hard at reducing our electric bill by switching off lights and unplugging everything, to the annoyance of the rest of the family, restricted the use of the tumble drier and made sure hair straighteners were not left on (nor burning the house down). Denis said his wife should take a few tips from me! “Bet she doesn’t shop in Primark?” I asked “No but I’ve managed to get her to Lidl and Aldi!” “How about I reduce your monthly payments too?” “Yes! Brilliant! Denis did all the sums and reduced the direct debit by £30 a month – we have clearly been wasting heaps of electric previously! Denis is having a day off tomorrow and hoped the sun would still be shinning in Portsmouth as he was going to the gorilla sanctuary with his wife. He said he might leave her there!

I appreciated the normality of a humorous conversation along with some money back!

 I worked hard yesterday. Probably to hard. I mowed more grass and began to feel overwhelmed by seeing the weeds everywhere, nettles, brambles and raspberry canes, borders needing edging, laurels encroaching on the drive and so on. I didn’t attempt anything other than grass but the paddock took an hour and half alone. Paul has managed largely to stay on top of the lawns but has had to fit it in after work and in between showers and was away two days this week. I had basement laundry to do, with the guys downstairs leaving a day early for the long weekend, beds to change and cleaning.

 I sat down for a late lunch of butternut squash and apricot soup at 2.30pm feeling weepy, tired and lonely. Apart from Paul and Maisie I hadn’t actually seen anyone else since last Saturday evening. Part of my plan for this year was to get out and meet people but with college not now happening and having missed running club for several weeks I’m not making much progress on the friends score! Six years in Aberdeen, a very transient place and friends have come and gone, me mainly tied to the house with part time work here and there, friends have been hard to come by! Very grateful to Kim and Liz for their company and fun! So I fell apart for a while in the afternoon wondering just how I got to this place and point in life, fully aware that in two weeks’ time my surgery would be happening and that my female body would never look the same again, with a life long visual reminder of this cancer that has invaded. I mopped up my tears, pulled myself together and had a bag of cheese and onion crisps, a glass of sherry and several pieces of Maisie’s delicious Rocky Road .

 Maisie took comfort in speaking to her friend Hannah about my cancer. Hannah’s Dad had cancer a little while ago so Hannah was very helpful in discussing emotions, fears and people’s reactions etc.

Friends have said “let me know if I can do anything”, that’s not easy at a distance but e mails / messages / notes/ letters are always appreciated. Some have said they don’t know what to say, just say usual stuff, how your day was, what you did. Normality is very important even though this isn’t “normal”!