Macmillan Support

I didn’t know what to do with myself. I had planned a swim and a sauna, but all day, I didn’t manage to drag myself off the sofa and I never found enough energy to get showered or dressed. Sunday, I suffered probably the worst fatigue that I have experienced. I felt incredibly unwell and slept or at least lay with my eyes closed almost all day. It was day four after another bout of menstrual flooding. The usual pattern of recent months, heavy bleeding then a dip in energy levels around day four which generally lasts 3-4 days. After that I seem to bounce back quite quickly.

I felt so ill on Sunday. I wept at one point, not evenfinding the energy to cry properly. I no longer wanted to take all the drugs (Tamoxifen, Mefenamic, Ferrous Fumerate) I didn’t want this awful fatigue, I wished the cancer had never happened and I just wanted to feel “normal”. My head was fuzzy, my body like lead and my lungs breathless. Monday was brighter, although still tired, Tuesday I managed a good walk and today I was just about back to my old self.

If this is how it’s going to be each month then I have to plan my diary and ensure I have four or five days aside with nothing on in case the fatigue hits. My concerns were as to whether this cycle is “normal”. Fatigue affects 25% of women on Tamoxifen but the bleeding is much less common and indeed the opposite is more likely with periods becoming lighter and possibly stopping altogether. My GP didn’t seem concerned although the patient leaflet with the Tamoxifen states any changes in menstrual bleeding should be reported to the GP immediately!

Today I phoned to speak to the on line Macmillan nurse to clarify things and seek some reassurance! Well she clarified things and was very informative and understanding. The heavy periods were not normal with Tamoxifen and I shouldn’t have to live with this pattern of fatigue. She referred me straight back to my own breast cancer nurse at hospital and said I should try to see the consultant. I left a message for my cancer nurse at hospital and she called back this evening. She is planning to get me in to see my consultant. Watch this space!...

http://www.macmillan.org.uk/HowWeCanHelp/Nurses/AboutMacmillanNurses.aspx

Restoring Balance & Energy

I naïvely anticipated a quick fix to the anaemia. I was wiped out the day following the four hour walk and I was up and down for the rest of the week. Fortunately things picked up for my trip South with Maisie and although the travelling was tiring I was not feeling that awful fatigue which drags you down, that makes every step and every breath a chore. True to say that it did cross my mind that I could be “ill”, that the cancer could be back,  during these bouts of fatigue that hit me. I’ve never been anaemic and didn’t realise how debilitating it can be.

I’ve been packing my diet with iron rich foods, including an uplifting and refreshing watercress, pear and fresh ginger soup! Two weeks on and the iron tablets seem to be taking effect now and I am waking much brighter and with a lot more energy than of recent weeks.

I am still trying to balance my activities with rest and exercise and to not cram too much into my diary. Maybe a skill we could all do to learn?

The 18^th birthday weekend was busy but with time for relaxation as well. Leisurely cocktails at The Savoy, breakfast in bed and coffee breaks from the Oxford Street shopping! A very special time for me and my little girl! Doubly so as it was just the two of us and it was Mother’s Day!  I remember back to my initial diagnosis and the immediate fear that, having celebrated Alice’s 18^th the previous year, that I may not see Maisie’s 18^th birthday. It was a very real fear but of course as time went on, I realised that even with a worst case scenario there are great things that can be done for breast cancer patients. I was lucky. By the end of August I knew my cancer had not spread and I would not need chemo. It’s six months since my surgery and the scars, both mental and physical are healing well.