Good Friday!

915pm and feeling shattered and emotionally drained after an ecstatic morning and fun filled afternoon! It was tense waiting at Clinic. Thankfully with the phone call to make the appointment only coming at 5pm Thursday, I didn’t have much time to get too anxious in the run up to 1015 this morning! That said, I was very snappy first thing and felt like I was about to sit an exam or go on stage (bloody theatre creeping into my mind again!) That stomach churning tension. I became impatient sitting in the waiting room, clock watching and gazing at the faulty “purple and green” TV once more. The last time I had sat there, in the same seat was on 6^th August the day I was told I had cancer. Today I sat there waiting to know if the cancer had spread or not. It could go either way.

After a very long 45 minutes delay with clinic running late, we were moved to the familiar pale blue and white examination room. I did the usual scan of the room, clock, leaflets, desk etc. I noted immediately that the blinds were open and I could see the sunshine outside and the bench where I had sat on an afternoon walk after mastectomy just two weeks ago. I noted there was not a spare chair for the cancer nurse or a radiologist. I noted there was no box of tissues. This was going to be good news. The consultant walked in with my MacMillan nurse, relaxed and smiling. At that point I knew it was ok. “We have good news for you!”

And it was. The mastectomy removed a 2cm tumour and showed lymph nodes to be clear of cancer. No radiotherapy or chemo required, massive relief. Jubilant.  Five years of adjuvant hormone therapy, Tamoxifen – the wonder drug and the only drug available to hormone receptive, pre-menopausal breast cancer patients. Thankfully my cancer is oestrogen hormone receptive so I can take the drug. It does of course come with some side effects, mostly similar to those of the menopause, some of which may or may not cause problems. The most common side effects seem to be joint pain, (something I already suffer), night sweats, bloating. Hopefully with a good diet, exercise and rest (that’s the tricky one for me!) I will do great!

Tamoxifen works on the whole body, so is a systemic treatment, it works by blocking the effects of oestrogen on breast cancer cells, stopping them from growing. Tamoxifen can only be taken for five years as the cancer cells can become resistant to it and so the risks of developing further cancer out way the benefit of taking the drug. Once post-menopausal and five years on, there are other hormone therapies that can be taken.

So this time we came out of clinic with something to celebrate – a hormone receptive cancer and clear lymph nodes.

And celebrate we did with a coffee in Starbucks with Maisie and Mum before heading to CLAN for a reflexology to calm me down!

So happy to see my little friend James and his lovely mum Kim this afternoon. Good to chat and see new faces after two weeks of sleeping and physio! Hugs, a few tears and great playtime with “Now I know my ABC” and pennies from the till! Had every hope of getting dressed up and going out for a drink this evening but in reality I was so shattered that I was pyjamered and to bed for a rest and a massage of my sore underarm cording!

 Perhaps we’ll go to Mr Trumps Clubhouse for lunch tomorrow instead!