Stress Buster

I didn’t realise just how much I needed the time away. The 16 day break provided a complete change of scenery, erased recent difficulties and pain from my mind and allowed me to spend time doing things with people who are important in my life. I valued the company of Ros who had recently had her own cancer to overcome. We understood the impact on one another and spent time talking of our hopes and of some of our fears. My time away was gently active without being too busy and not in the least bit stressful. I have made a conscious effort to erase stress from my life and I am amazed at my new found ability to take things in my stride that would, in a previous life, have seen me shouting, crying and generally losing it! Ripping a hole in my best tan boots, a leaking bedroom window, a missed train connection. Can’t change it so no point stressing over it!

This week has seen emotions running high though as I have felt the pain of events affecting some of my family and friends. One shock after another and my heart goes out to those who are suffering with their own cross to bear. These things are always difficult but somehow at this time of year with the merriment of Christmas the impact of an uphill struggle can be immense. My thoughts are with those who are struggling at this time.

I received news this week that both shocked me and warmed me in a strange way. I discovered that my Grandmother, who died before I was two, had undergone a mastectomy for breast cancer aged 48, exactly the same age as I was. Neither my mother nor father knew anything about this and indeed, I had told the hospital and doctors, “no, no history of breast cancer”. My father was only 9 at the time and never knew anything about it. I gained the information from my cousin. My Aunt, in her 80’s, also has breast cancer “in situ” and is on Tamoxifen. Relevant information for Alice and Maisie and any children they may have in the future. I had I suppose in some way tried to blame myself for my own cancer, it was because I was too stressed for too long, working too hard physically etc. Finding out about Grandma’s mastectomy made me realise that there was probably nothing I could have done to prevent my own cancer and I have taken comfort in the fact I am not the only Amazon Warrior in my family. Grandma had a passion for travel and lived well after the mastectomy. She did die too soon but it was not from the cancer. I know it was much less of an ordeal for me to undergo treatment in this day and age than it would have been for Grandma some 60+ years ago.

Christmas will be a special and quiet time this year. We have visited family and friends in recent weeks and I have caught up with people that matter to me and now it’s time for just the four of us to spend some quality time at home just “being”. We none of us know what is round the corner, and we have all heard it a hundred times, until it happens to you, it doesn’t have an impact. Dream as if you’ll live for ever, live as if you’ll die today.