My Library

At the foot of my bed sits my “cancer bag”. All the leaflets, hospital letters, information, support booklets, lingerie brochures etc that I have acquired over recent weeks. A small library of information that I occasionally dip in and out of when I feel the need. I decided against the Pink Ladies group, not wanting to surround myself with everyone else’s stories and fearful that it may drag me down rather than lift me. I have enough information in my library to be able to check up on things including  – post surgery exercise, diet, recipes, tamoxifen etc and to know that everything I feel or experience is “normal”. Writing the blog is an outlet for my thoughts and helps me to look back and see how far I have come in a relatively short period of time. I also just discovered that another lady I know was diagnosed with breast cancer a few months before me. We are planning to meet up for supper and I am sure, being like-minded, that we will benefit from each other’s company.

My re ordered bra ( http://www.amoena.co.uk )arrived and is a great fit, however the breast form is slightly too big, it’s not that noticeable but I am aware of it. I’m waiting for another clinic appointment to get a re-fit! Hope to come home with a perfect "pair"! With a busy time the last week or so (Glasgow, Newcastle, dinner out, dad visiting), I’ve not yet managed to get to the pool. Determined it will be the end of this week! I did manage a four mile sunny run one day last week, rather slow pace but no worse for wear afterwards and a sense of achievement at the end!

We are still somewhat in limbo with Paul’s job, waiting for the private consultation to finish before he knows for sure if he is to get redundancy, albeit a statutory, less than generous sum of £12k for 37 years work. We really didn’t need the additional stress. We hope the process will be complete, over and done with, in the next two weeks. The money will at least pay for a great holiday next year as we will be celebrating an 18^th, 20^th,50^th and 60^th between the four of us! One or two things on the horizon, lots of balls up in the air, a change is as good as a rest!

Just over two months on since surgery and the “new normal” settles into place. Friends and relationships have been put to the test in the most difficult of times. Some have come out stronger than ever and one or two have fallen by the way side. I think anyone who has had invasive cancer will tell you that the emotional scars probably take longer to heal than the physical ones. The support that goes on after the initial diagnosis and treatment is invaluable. A shout out “thank you” to those of you, you know who you are!